April 23, 2023
In recent years, the forest has become an extension of my soul - it has been my confidant, sanctuary, doctor, and muse at times. When my mind or the collective mind was babbling too loudly in my head, in the forest I would regain my spirit. Reading, watching, singing, just being in its heart I come in harmony with it and with my soul. This changes my inner rhythms, they also become more natural - the cadence of thoughts, the depth of breathing, the flow of energy in the body, everything rearranges itself naturally, without effort. It's like a restart and an update at the same time. After each mouthful of forest, I leave it being more of myself. Somehow being with it I remember some part of myself. These days I found it bursting with life, satisfied with its share of rain, generously radiating its infectious joy.
March 15, 2023
Every city has its unique fingerprint; the lives that filled it, the steps that trot it, the character of the people who inhabited it, and everything they created somehow condenses into a single sense. The thoughts and experiences of those who have loved it or just used it, who have nested their lives in the labyrinth of its streets infuse it with their aromas. It becomes like a coat, it carries your memories, it scratches you in a certain place, it comes apart at the seams if you don't take care of it, and it sits on you in a thousand different ways over the years. Wherever I travel, I'm always happy to return to Iasi and I celebrate my return with a walk where I let it surprise me - with an old house that I've never seen before, a charming street, a flowering branch, a new cafe shop - the city always finds something. I walk through it holding its hand and am grateful that it has generously sheltered my dreams and fulfillments for so long.
December 15, 2022
Through a blessed twist of fate I found myself on a 6-day home vacation. A vacation that I didn't necessarily feel I needed, but I knew would come in handy. It passed unexpectedly quickly and left me much richer. I took it seriously, in the sense that I allowed myself to do nothing that I didn't feel 100% like doing - not a meal cooked, not a phone call made, not a page read that wasn't done with thirst, naturally. I didn't force myself, push, wait for anything. I let the natural course of my curiosities, my senses, my laziness carry me in spending every moment. This reconnection to the natural rhythm of my being, not framed in any 'should', was the most deeply restful and refreshing luxury I could offer myself.
I ended up reading a great book (Midnight Library by Matt Haig), watching a good movie that touched my soul (Nine Days), finding new music (Connie Evingson) to accompany my silences, translating some materials appropriate for the point I am at, to decorate my house with warm twinkly lights, to pamper myself on the balcony feeling the sunshine's caress, to relax my body in dances, tremors and stretches that it asked of me. I did a lot, but letting it all come to me instead of following my mental stream made all of it feel like a treat.
I'm saying this, if you find yourself with some unencumbered time this holiday season, instead of filling it with whatever practical leftovers are left to digest from the past or projected into the future, let it be, free, uncorseted, and see where it takes you. Notice how you feel afterward. The time spent staying in one's energy is highly underrated. This immersion in our juice can bring many integrations we are in full circle and open new paths, naturally, without processing or analysis, just allowing us to enjoy our own company.
November 2, 2022
Meeting the forest for me is like meeting my soul. I have the same feelings of longing, fear, excitement, and procrastination before the reunion. I know that in it I find all that I love most about myself - freedom, ease, unfettered safe space, beauty, and truth. In the forest, there is no place to lie and hide. When you get lost alone on the winding paths, it's just you and everything you've ignored since you stopped looking within.
Going to the forest is like going to church - I confess everything that brings me unrest and any fear I haven't released engulfs me in the green unknown. I feel it in my body as it's jerking at unexpected noises, in my tense walk as if I'm running errands, in my uneven breath when I think I hear someone else and all the 5 o'clock news are rushing into my head at once. This is the beginning.
As I observe myself, at one point I burst out laughing at the absurdity of my own experiences and with this release, I begin to remember.. I begin to remember that the unknown is the same here and in the concrete jungle and wherever I am... That I would choose a thousand times to face my fears over not enjoying nature freely ... That security is a state only I can decide whether to allow myself or to tie it to some mental boxes that must be ticked.
After all this negotiation that lasts more or less depending on how tired I show up to the meeting with the mothership, after all this comes the embrace... The embrace of the rhythm of the forest carries me like good jazz from peace, to bustle, to stillness and soaring. The mental structures in which I felt trapped upon coming melt away, and then I too melt into the sound of my steps, of the birds, of the wind through the leaves, of the gentle creaking of some tree that houses my hammock. With every breath, my chest and my being open to life as I remember from deep within the feeling of flowing with it. A wave of joy washes over me and I float in it until I feel it's time. It's time to come back full of myself and full of the forest, of everything it gave me and the reminder of what I already knew but forgot whilst living among the concrete.
October 28, 2022
I love the feeling of new beginnings, especially perhaps when they reside between the covers of a book. I feel like I am at the gate to another realm where I will meet other versions of me and from which I will return another-me, with an abundance of experiences and feelings.
A few years ago I started reading only books that charm, move, delight, and fascinate me. I no longer read books just for information - if I don't also find a wealth of beauty, humor, or genius between the lines, I put it down.
Life is too precious to waste it in half-loved books. The more I let go of unfulfilling reading, the more I found books and authors whose stories alchemize my soul, stories whose magic resonates with mine.
The same applies to people, contexts, projects, and opportunities in general. When I thought that making compromises was part of life, my life was full of them and justifications to continue them. When I took off the heavy cloak of the belief that this was the only way to live and dared to stop compromising, other situations appeared around me that fit my soul like a glove and that I could enjoy freely and at peace. They don't take the shape my mind expected, true, but what does the mind really know about the soul?
I learned, over time, to be relaxed when facing life's surprises, to receive them without expectations and with an open heart. I don't know what will come, but I know it will bring me new waves of fulfillment, Wisdom, and joy, unsuspected by me until now. This conscious diving, opening into the wide unknown leaves a wide space for miracles and in this ocean of trust in which I still choose to live, they always appear. That for me is everyday magic, where everything is perfectly right for me in each moment, and most of the time I know it.
In the same way, I know that these 3 books will be my good travel companions in what is left of this beautiful autumn.
